And I'm back...

It’s hard to believe what a few months, a kick in the ass and a solid support system can do. My life today is in a completely different place that it was when I wrote my last blog. It is now very obvious I was dealing with some post partum depression  ( I HATE that word!), which is apparently very common when your baby turns 1, as your hormones finally level out from pregnancy. Unfortunately no one had told me this. I was pretty much in panic mode wondering why I had no energy to preform day-to-day tasks, why I would cry at the drop of the hat and why my weight plummeted to a frightening number. Well I am proud to say I’m reporting from the other side and it feels fuckin good! Things that used to stress me out like dealing with a squirming child during a diaper change or a picky eater is now a thing of the past. I have come to realize that every day, actually every minute brings along a new challenge and the only thing to do is smile through it...Or you will lose your shit like I did. I specifically remember Jagger going through a crazy food strike. I would seriously make him 7 different dinners and night after night all he finally ate was a peanut butter sandwich. After weeks of stressing I finally realized I needed to stop trying to force him to eat chicken and meatballs and what not and just give him the damn sandwich first. Well after a few days it was a thing of the past and he now inhales “mamas meatballs”, kale smoothies and pretty much anything I give him. At the time of the strike it felt like the end of the world but If I would have just stopped being so stubborn and listen to my son my nights would have been a lot easier. This rule goes into almost every aspect of his life now. I listen to his needs and wants and stop trying to mold him into what I think he should be. I just don’t budge with sleep, he’s in his crib at 645pm and his little ass isn’t coming out till 7am J

I think part of the problem is that almost all of us go into motherhood with the misconception of what it really means. We believe our kids will adapt to our lives, play by themselves and let us sleep in when we are hung over. Sadly this isn’t the case and a baby is not an accessory, a Chanel bag is. Once you have accepted that your life will never be the same, you have conquered half the battle. I truly think anyone who is considering getting pregnant or has a baby on the way should do an apartment swap with a friend who has a kid for the weekend. Its truly the only way to get an idea of what you are really about to take on. This past weekend Liat and Kevin (my sister and her husband) had a wedding in Delaware. Our usual babysitters stayed at their apt for the weekend to watch Tyler (3.5) and Ryder (14 months) with the help of Shai and I. They are the same girls who have been watching our kids for years and are young and full of energy. They did an incredible job but by the time Sunday rolled around they could hardly move and repeatedly told me how much respect they have for Liat and I that we do this everyday! They usually just see the kids for 3 hours at a time and had no idea what it means to be “on” 24/7. They both agreed it was the best birth control and they no longer feel like they neeeeeeeeed to get married and have kids tomorrow. Shocker ;) Something for you all to consider!

Now as hard and exhausting as being a mother is, there is absolutely nothing else in life I would rather be doing. It is the most amazing feeling to hear my son wake up and call out Mama and Dada and see the enormous smile on his face when we come in. I am in awe of the fact that he is always so excited to see me and greets me with me a huge hug and a delicious kiss on the lips as if he hasn’t seen me in years. He never ceases to amaze me with all the knowledge he absorbs and how every day I am able to teach him new words, animal sounds and actions. Babies are truly remarkable like that. He knows how to hail a cab and call out taxi, he can’t help but dance when music comes on and he is always feeding and kissing his stuffed animals and books. He is seriously just the sweetest little boy in the world. We have so many inside jokes and he thinks I’m the funniest person alive. He is truly so smart and such a fast learner, however I’m pretty sure he will be crawling down the aisle at his wedding! No Jagger isn’t walking yet and I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime too soon. He walks all along furniture and stands alone in the bath but the kids got no balls to just let go and walk.  Can’t win em all. Jagger is truly the light of my life and I am so glad I am finally able to enjoy every little moment with him. I am constantly asked when I’m going to go for baby #2 but I honestly don’t think I can love another child they way I love Jagger, my heart feels like its going to explode every day.