What goes in...Must come out!

Women spend so much time worrying and stressing about how they are going to get a baby in their belly. They talk to friends, family and doctors about how to do so and all share their stories about what they did to make it happen. But what NOBODY talks about is actually getting the baby out! I hadn’t given it much thought myself until about a week ago. It all began while I was getting ready to shower and Shai came into the bathroom. What started with him telling me how pretty I look pregnant soon turned into us bursting into laughter about how ridiculous my body is. My belly has grown so much and I look like I could topple over at any given moment. Before I knew it, the laughter turned into tears as reality and fear set in…this baby needs to get out. I swear it was such a bi-polar moment. Shai managed to calm me down and promised I would be just fine and he would be right next to me holding my hand through it all. Even though I know he will be passed out on the floor when the time comes, his words helped me regroup and get the thought out of my head for the night.

However on Sunday night while watching The Kardashians the fear came back to haunt me. For those of you who didn’t watch it, Kourtney became obsessed with the idea of a home water birth and someone not only let her watch it live, but let the cameras in too so the rest of the world could watch as well. I’m not going to lie, for half a second I thought - hmmm that’s kind of a cool idea. That thought ended abruptly when I saw the girl scream and cry like she was being stabbed repeatedly. Umm NO THANK YOU! Inevitably the tears started streaming and the panic set in again. How am I going to get Baby Shustik out??

WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SCARED OF CHILDBIRTH OR DON’T WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN!!

If you ask most women about their birthing experience they will simply say it’s the greatest miracle in the world.  While I do agree that the beautiful baby that comes out is a miracle I think there are some details they’re neglecting to share.

Did you know:

·         The chances of your OB delivering your baby are slim

·         Your nishy WILL tear

·         There will be no hand holding during your epidural – You’re on your own honey!

·         The majority of women shit on the table?!  Yes, I did say shit!

·         Your asshole can literally rip while pushing?!

·         You have to actually deliver the placenta, which looks like an alien!

·         You will have a swollen, bleeding vag for days after the birth

I’m gonna guess you probably didn’t know any of this because no one is willing to talk about it!! You can all bet your ass that my first blog after baby Shustik comes out will be the brutal honesty on delivering a baby, so stay tuned! I hope I didn’t scare anyone too much but there is there is hope yet.  I can only speak from my sister’s experience as I was in the delivery room with her.  I always pictured it to be like the movies but fortunately I was pleasantly surprised. First of all, the delivery rooms are TINY, at least at Mt Sinai. I asked the doctor when we would move to the birthing room and he looked at me and notified me we were in it, Seriously? Second, there is so much waiting around. I always pictured being wheeled into the hospital kicking and screaming and within minutes pushing a baby out. Not the case at all. My sister was admitted at 10:45pm and Tyler wasn’t born until 11:03am then next day and there was no screaming at any point of the delivery. As soon as she felt any contractions she got an epidural (which she swore didn’t hurt at all!) and the doctor literally had to tell her she was having a contraction and that she needed to push. In between her brief pushes we were talking about everyday things, good restaurants in the neighborhood, the Miami football team and our plans for December vacation. At one point my brother in law told my sister to yell and curse so it felt like the movies…It was all just so calm. As Tyler was making his entrance into the world her doctor asked if either her husband or I wanted to watch. Like most men, he kindly declined (which I agree with, Shai will be waist up the whole time!!).  I then responded, “ Well I don’t have to bone her “ and made my way around to the front row seating. What I saw was incredible. It wasn’t gross or scary but amazing and as cliché as this sounds, a miracle. The tears flowed as Liat was introduced to her perfect beautiful baby boy. It was a day I will never forget and I can only hope to have as great a delivery as she did. The proof that childbirth isn’t all that bad is that most women do have more than one baby, and I’m happy to announce that Liat is now pregnant with baby number 2!!

My favorite things

Do I have Zagat written on my forehead?!?! For some reason throughout my life, family and friends have always come to me for random recommendations. What’s a good event space to host my husbands birthday?  Where’s a fun restaurant to have my parents anniversary dinner? Or where should I get my bikini waxed? And no matter how bizarre the questions are, somehow I always have an answer. I’m beginning to think I do too many things that just aren’t necessary. Since becoming pregnant the recommendation questions have been rolling in more than ever so I figured I would put together a list of all my favorite things both pregnancy related and not and share them with all my loving readers…So here we go

Best prenatal massage:

NYC- Equinox 85^th street with Tara

Hamptons- Hampton bays, Blythe Payne 631-875-6186

Best cheap maternity tanks- Old Navy maternity scoop rib-knit tanks

Best stretchy maternity tanks- Ingrid & Isabel everyday cami

Best maternity Jeans- 7 for all mankind secret fit belly signature pocket maternity jean

Best breakfast- 0% Chobani plain greek yogurt with berries, wheat germ and kasha go lean crunch

Best accupuncture- Bianca Beldini http://www.sacredspaceacupuncture.com/

Baby nurses

Josie- 610-476-5191

Michelle- 917-803-0458 www.justmimi.com

Best Facial- Yasmine Djerradine with Karen

Best workout- Yoga with Lara Benusis

Best body lotion- St Ives naturally indulgent coconut milk and orchid extract

Best eyebrow wax- Anastasia salon at Sephora on 48th and 5th

Best sweet treat- Gelato from Golosi, chocolate covered oreos from Dylan’s or chocolate chip cookie from Insomnia Cookies

Best healthy lunch- Chopt or DKNY Café @ DKNY store on 60^th and Madison

Best cheap maternity clothes- Targets maxi dresses

Best cheap blowout- Bleu ser bleu salon (its $30!!!)

Best foot massage- Foot Heaven @ 16 Pell Street in Chinatown $25 for 30 minutes and will be the best half hour of your life! Worth the trip

And since I just shared all my recommendations I’m gonna ask that you all return the favor and help a girl out. I’m in need of an inexpensive photographer for a maternity shoot that will actually give me the photos on a disc...Go!

Are you a boy or a girl?

Many of you will hear this and think Shai and I are totally nuts…but we (meaning me) made the decision to not find out the baby’s gender. I remember the day we found out we were preg I said with certainty that we would be finding out. I was so excited to have a baby in my belly and I wanted /NEEDED to know what it was. Shai and I thought that it would be so cool to have it be a surprise but we are such control freaks and didn’t think we would be able hold out. However once the initial shock of being pregnant subsided I was able to think more clearly and made the decision that I didn’t want to find out. This decision wasn’t made easily and I literally had to convince Shai why it would be so much more fun this way. This severely upset numerous friends of ours who begged us to let them call our doctor and find out for themselves. It seems these day people just aren’t into surprises.

I will never forget being in the delivery room with my sister, (who chose not to find out the babies sex) and the doctor announcing it was time to meet their son. My brother in law had the biggest smile on his face and my sister was in total shock, as she was convinced it was a girl. It was so exciting and emotional and the best experience in the world. The rest of the family was waiting outside with anticipation to hear if it was a boy or girl and it was all just so exciting. When I thought back to that moment I remembered how special it was and how I wanted that too. I may sound very laid back about this but you should all know that I’m most definitely not! I have developed a sick obsession with online baby gender quizzes and do at least 4 a week. Not a joke- gender quizzes are my new Facebook and I am literally hooked! You may be thinking- why don’t you stop doing stupid gender quizzes and just ask the doctor already…but where would the fun be in that?!?!? Instead I prefer do the same routine every single night. We get in bed and Shai does his ritual of rubbing my tummy and talking to baby S while he/she kicks away letting us know its ok. I then look at Shai and say “ So what do you reeeeeeeeeally think it is?” And he has the exact same response every night- “ I honestly have no idea”. Ummm No shit! Neither do I..It’s a game and I need you and everyone else to play along with me. I also love hearing random peoples guesses on the sex, as long as they don’t involve comments about my fat ass! This week I am convinced it’s a girl, I have absolutely no reason to think this way other than the fact the babies heart beat is above 160, which according to my quizzes means it’s a girl. Talk to me next week and Ill be totally sure it’s a boy…Yes I’m nuts! I see all the fun it is to have a little boy from my sister and how much boys love their mommy’s and how sweet and fun they are. But at the same time, I die over all baby girls clothes and would love to dress them in hot pink tutus everyday. I can go back and forward about the pros and cons to boys and girls but the truth is Shai and I truly have no preference. We feel so blessed to be having a baby, that we could honestly care less if it’s a boy or girl…As long as its ok to rock hot pink on the regular.

Heres my favorite quiz if anyone else feels the need to do one too :)


http://www.babygenderprediction.com/old-wives-tales-gender-prediction-method.html

Umm can you say crazy!

I know a lot of women become crazy when the get pregnant. They get paranoid, emotional and over think every single thing they do.  I'll admit that some days that describes me to a tee, however this describes Shai EVERY day!

When I met him 5 years ago we were in very different places. I was 23 jobless and fresh out of rehab, while he was 30 established and successful. I think from the moment we met he felt a sense that he needed to take care of me and protect me from the big bad streets of Manhattan. Whether it was checking that my handbag was zipped, calls during the day to make sure I’m alive, and making sure I was well fed, Shai always loved a good check in. However, they were few and far between and it was usually me with the non-stop texts. My favorite being, What’s for dinner, which was usually sent at 8am- he always loved those- NOT!

But this all changed in past 23 weeks when baby S set up residence in my tummy.

While I’m very happy to go about my normal life, gyming every day, eating similar to before I was preg and doing all my same errands around the house, Shai is not so comfortable with this. It started right away and has only gotten worse. Here are some of the ways in which my daily life has been affected by my doting, over protective hubby.

First off, I am happy to sit in the sun all day and get my tan on. I made sure to ask my OBGYN if this was ok and she said it was as long as I don’t get over heated. Well I’m not sure what Shai heard when she said that because he gives me body temp checks every 20 minutes when I’m in the sun and if I feel too warm he makes me go inside to cool off or get in the pool. I’m also not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds or bend down to pick something up off the floor.

I get constant text messages throughout the day reminding me that its “VERY VERY HOT” out and baby and I need to stay hydrated and asking if I’m eating enough to make sure baby is growing. A computer on my lap…how dare I?!? In the back of a cab, a seatbelt must always be worn and I shouldn’t even think about driving alone. Last week I had to pick my sister and nephew up from 84^th and 3^rd (10 blocks from the garage) and Shai pretended he had to go uptown too and said he would take a ride with me…Paranoid much?!?! His latest revelation is that my underwear is too tight and I am suffocating the baby and he’s sure it will suffer from claustrophobia. You can bet your ass I was sent out to purchase all new undies to accommodate my growing body. My family has now joined the Don’t Let Tali Move bandwagon due to fear that Shai will yell at them. It has turned into a running joke and while we all like to make fun of him for it, I honestly think it is incredibly sweet. He only wants to keep me and baby safe at all times and I know he will make sure to do so for the rest of our lives. I can honestly say I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and feel incredibly blessed to have such a loving caring husband, craziness and all!

Halfway!

I feel like hitting the 20-week mark is a pivotal time in my pregnancy. I am officially halfway through which is both thrilling and nerve racking at the same time. It’s gone so fast and I know the next week 20 weeks will go by even faster.  We had our 20-week anatomy scan last week at Mt Sinai and it was hands down the best moment in my pregnancy so far. We had an amazing sonographer and she made sure it was an incredible experience for us. As soon as baby bear came to life, we were madly in love. He/she is a real person! We got to see all 10 fingers and toes, its little arms and legs, its perfect little lips and even its little eye sockets.  Halfway through the woman announces were going 3D, I looked at Shai with panic in my eyes as we always said they scared the hell out of it but it was too late, baby was coming at us live. I can honestly say it took my breath away. It was INCREDIBLE!!! What was I so scared of? It was amazing. We got the see every little detail of baby’s face, including its tiny chin, just like its mama and enormous head, just like its daddy. Umm C-Section anyone?!?! Baby even gave us a thumbs up, letting us know he/she is doing just fine squished up in my belly. Seriously, the coolest moment on my life!!

Being 20 weeks has made me look into my pregnancy and really think about all the amazing and not so amazing moments and feelings I’m having. I thought I would make a top 5 best and worst things about being prego.

Top 5 worst things about being pregnant:

1-I have come to realize the majority of NYC men are total douchebags. When you see pregnant woman schlepping an armful of shopping bags and a pocket book that is bigger than her on the subway, offer her your seat!! Or to make matters worse, I would like to know why I am giving my subway seat up for an elderly person and standing the rest of the ride while a pack of 30 something year old men are sitting their lazy asses down. If you are a man reading this I beg you to be a gentleman and give up your seat, us preggies really appreciate it, and I bet the elderly would too!


2-If you are a total stranger, don’t even think about touching my stomach! It is totally inappropriate and makes me severely uncomfortable. If you live in my building, took a yoga class with me or even slept with my husband, rub away. But if you’re my waiter at a restaurant or better yet my doorman, stay the F*#! away please! And yes, both have rubbed this belly of mine…Vomit!


3-Idon’t want your opinion on how I look. This goes back to #2, if you are my friend feel free to tell me how ugly I look or how fat my thighs are but if you are a random woman in my building I don’t wanna hear it. Yes there is a story and here it goes. I’m waiting for the elevator 2 weeks ago and a woman I have said a total of 10 words to in the 5 years I have been in out of this building asked me if I knew what I was having.  When I told her were not finding out she proclaims “ Your DEFINITLY having a boy” I asked why thinking she would say because I look so fabulous (they say you carry nicer with boys, all belly) and she tells me “because you butt got SO much bigger”. I almost launched across the lobby and chocked her. Who says that?!?!??!  I somehow held back my tears till I got to my apartment where Shai thought I was mugged and beaten I was crying so hard. Don’t people remember the lesson we learned in first grade, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it all!!! 


4-Something strange is happening down there and it isn’t fun. The first time this happened was last weekend out east. We are getting ready for bed and I’m in a tank and boy shorts and let out a sneeze…I suddenly feel something wet and realize, I PEED IN MY PANTS!!! What the hell?!?! This has never happened to me before and to say that I was in shock is a total understatement. I look up at Shai with this idiotic smile and he immediately knew what had happened..Either he knows me really well or he saw a huge wet mark in my light grey gap bodies. I knew at that moment I could do one of two things, cry like I always do or laugh about it. I decided to go with the latter of the two because that’s the only way to get through this pregnancy. I not only made the best of this repulsive situation but I went as far marching to my sisters room to show her and her husband what the hell just happened. Since last weekend I have made sure to do my kegels on the regular! According to my dear friend google, that’s the cure J


5-I’m literally expanding in every which direction…and it aint pretty!

Top 5 best things about being pregnant:
1-After I eat a big meal I don’t have to suck in my stomach or worry about how bloated I look. This may seem like a shallow or pathetic reason but being someone who worries about how their body looks all the time, it feels pretty damn good to let it all hang out!


2-I can blame almost anything on my pregnancy. I cant go out to dinner tonight with an annoying couple because I’m just so nauseous and tired or I cant get out of bed shut the lights because I’m FINALLY comfortable or better yet, I forgot to call our health insurance to take care of a $2,000 bill, oopsie. You really get a get out of jail free card for 9 months and I am not held reliable for anything I do or say, which I LOVE!


3-People are just friendlier. When I walk down the street complete strangers smile at me and belly and I think it’s really sweet. When waiting in line at the super market people will ask me when I’m due and how I’m feeling and it actually seems sincere and makes me smile. I also get to cut the line for the restroom, which is amazing because as you see from my previous story, sometimes we have no control over our bladder.

    4-Every night before we go to sleep, Shai rubs my belly and has the cutest little conversations with our baby. He tells it funny things that happened that day, or tells him/her how crazy its mommy is. Regardless of what he has to say, it really makes me melt. I love how connected we already feel to baby and it is seriously the sweetest thing ever. It makes me so excited to see how he will be when the baby actually arrives.


5-At the end of these wild 9 months, I get to live out my dream and become a mommy!


   

The Mind of My Man

Due to the fact that nothing oddly out of the ordinary happened to me this week (shocking I know), I decided to try something a little different for this entry. I have been getting so many emails asking about Shai and his thoughts on the pregnancy and how he’s handling it. All these questions made me realize, this pregnancy isn’t only about me, even though I would like to think it is. He too is going though feelings, emotions, and fears and I thought it would be fun to pick his brain about my pregnancy, life, love and us.

Let begin the interview J

TS: Did you always see yourself as a father or was this something that happened when you met your oh so beautiful wife?

SS: I always envisioned having kids at some point, but I never realized that "some point" was going to be now. Definitely couldn't imagine having kids one with anyone else.

TS: How did you feel when I was going through everything to try get pregnant?

SS: STRESSED! I knew you wanted to get pregnant so badly but knowing the kind of person you are, I knew that you were stressing yourself over something that would eventually happen naturally…Which it did, because I’m always right! It was very challenging to keep you calm and more importantly keep your mind off of it. I guess you you just needed some sun and relaxation in Turks to make it happen.

TS: How did you really feel when the test came back positive?

SS: SCARED SHITLESS

TS: What’s your favorite part of the pregnancy?

SS: Watching your growing belly grow every week and knowing were getting closer and closer to becoming parents

TS: What’s your least favorite part of it?

SS: That you’re not having any exciting cravings. I always envisioned that I would have to run out at 4am to get you pickles and ice cream from across the city, but you’re boring me in that department.

TS: What are your biggest fears about being a dad?

SS: Having a kid that doesn't appreciate all the love and opportunities we will provide him / her with.

TS: What kind of parents do you think we will be?

SS: Very cool parents. I plan to be strict when need be but want a kid that will come to us for everything

TS: Do you find me more attractive or less attractive preg- BE HONEST!

SS: Is this a trick question???? I find you to be a very beautiful pregnant woman and truly think you are glowing and all but I clearly think every girl is more attractive not pregnant.

(You should all know that I am both hysterical laughing and hysterical crying at the same time from his answer- My husband clearly prefers me without a baby bump!)

TS: Do you have a preference on the baby’s gender?

SS: If it comes out with my size head, then it better be a boy! But otherwise, I really don’t. I obviously just want a healthy baby

And now for some questions that all girls want to know but may not have a guy to ask…

TS: What’s the first thing you notice about a girl?

SS: First is their face because in all honesty, if they’re not pretty I wont be looking any further. Next comes the boobies and butt

TS: Ass or tits man?

SS: I don’t discriminate

TS: What do guys really think if a girl bones him the first night?

SS: Not a keeper…Keeps those legs crossed ladies if you’re looking for a long-term play

TS: Are there any rules about contacting a guy after a date?

SS: If the guy took you out for a dinner, which I would never do on a first date, then at least text him to thank him. However, if you have no interest..don’t text at all. Keep it simple.

TS: What do guys look for in a wifey?

SS: That’s a very hard question to answer for the general public as I’ve seen a lot of smart people make some REALLY bad choices. But speaking for myself, I looked for someone who could understand me, someone I love spending time with and someone that would be a great mother to my kids…and yes, I have found that in you.

Our first date at Philippe- March 17, 2007

Our wedding Skylight Soho- August 26 2010

Whats with all the pimples?!

My entire life I have been told what beautiful skin I have. It was always tan, pimple free and glowing. My skin care regimen consisted of washing my face with water (yes water) and some DDF Ultra Lite Moisture Dew. THAT WAS IT!! About a month ago that all changed. I woke up one morning and I had pimples! Not only did these pimples grace my face, but they got to my chest and back too.  I did what any crazy preggie does and hit the Internet hard seeking out advice and remedies for my new friends. Almost every blog, website and dermatologist said pretty much the same thing-pregnancy acne is hormonal and you cant do jack shit about it. HELL to the NO. I was not about to sit back and let nature and hormones take its toll on my face. I started with my own natural remedies that I believed I would put in a pretty bottle and make millions as the new pregnancy acne cure. These remedies included apple cider vinegar, toothpaste, lemon juice, honey, baking soda…you name it, I tried it with no success.

I started getting so frustrated that I would chase down any pregnant woman I saw and ask them what they did to get beautiful skin but none of them could help me. I finally decided to go and get a facial, my second one in my whole life…like I said, I’ve never had this problem before! After much research I decided to go to Yasmine Djerradine on 60^th between Park and Madison (recommended to me by a woman with flawless skin) who insisted I go see Karen. I marched my ass there on a Saturday afternoon with the intention of meeting my family at the park after with my new radiant skin. The first half of the facial was HEAVENLY! A yummy mask here, a deep cleaning lotion there and an amazing shoulder rub. Then it took it a turn for the worse. It was extraction time. This was all new to me and I nearly jumped off the damn table. I felt like she was sticking my face with needles then squeezing every ounce of life out of me. Karen didn’t care that I was screaming and squirming around the table- she was on a mission. After what felt like an eternity of abuse she put some calming mask on and I was free to go. Karen seemed thoroughly satisfied with her job as she held a mirror up to my face for me to check it out.  I took one glance and burst into tears. I looked like I had the shit kicked out of me! What happened to glowing gorgeous skin you’re supposed to have after a facial?!?! I looked worse coming out of it than I did going in. Karen promised me this was normal and in a few days I would look much better.

I paid, put on my enormous sunglasses and sprinted home to make sure no one I knew saw me like this. Screw the park- I was going home to wallow in my misery. Poor Shai came home from golf to me crying on the couch about how ugly I am and how I never wanna leave the house - but he somehow talked me off the ledge yet again. What would I do without him! I went to bed that night and said a little prayer for my skin. When I woke up the next morning I was in shock- my skin looked SO MUCH better!! The swelling had gone down and my enormous gross pimples were now little scabs. I was ecstatic! My savior Karen also told me to start using witch hazel as a toner to keep my face clean and kill all the bad bacteria. It is a miracle in a bottle and I wish I invented it! Looking back I may have been overreacting a bit but there is nothing worse than feeling like an ugly version of yourself. Lesson learned- don’t listen to people when they tell you there is nothing you can do, be proactive and take matters into your own hands. Never take no for answer!