You owe me...

In the midst of my accupuncture session this morning I had a moment of clarity and a thought popped into my head, "what is your purpose Tali"? I may sound crazy but there's not much else to do but think while lying under a heat lamp with 40 needles in you attempting to center and balance your crazy ass.

Anyway, I had a full blown conversation with myself and told my inner voice that I am a full time working mother (you don't need a desk job to be working- stop judging) a devoted wife and a half ass blogger. While this should be enough to keep my days full I find that I have a little void in my life. I have attempted to start multiple businesses that have all failed. Actually I should correct myself, I never followed through to actually start them but in essence they have failed. I have been a make up artist, a granola maker, a dessert baker and the list goes on. But none of these things are my PASSION. What is it I feel strongly about you ask...scoring a steal. I literally get high off a bargain. For those of you who know me well you know I don't buy cereal without a sale ($7 for a box is just not ok! I don't care how much money you have!), and I have no shame bringing a coupon to Walgreens with me. While my dream is to be an extreme couponer unfortunately I'm not smart enough to do that. If you don't believe me watch the show, they are all math geniuses! My obsession with deals is also seen in the most important place in my apartment, my closet. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem spending an obscene amount of money on a great pair of shoes but the bulk of my wardrobe is cheap cheap cheap. I love nothing more than spending hours in forever 21 and H&M and walking out with a new wardrobe for $300. And the truth is, I never get compliments on my high end items because everyone and their mother has them. However when I'm wearing a tribal boyfriend cardigan from forever, everyone goes nuts for it.

So here is my latest idea. I'm simply going to post my recent scores on a new Instagram page called Scoop my style and you can all reap the benefits from my discount shopping obsession. While this won't bring any income or anything it will give me something more interesting to do on Instagram than stalk random people that don't even know I exist. You're all smiling because you do the same thing! You're all probably wondering what the fuck is the point of this if you're not getting anything out of it but I disagree. I feel good about myself when I share good finds. I hate nothing more than those bitchy ass girls who keep things like this to themselves. If you know something great is out there in the universe share the wealth!!

Now I'm not saying I'm about to revolutionize the fashion or social media world but every style account I find is super high end. While I give major props for all the amazing outfits these people put together I also feel any asshole can walk into Barney's and buy something sick. No offense.  So here it is ladies...my gift to you!

Follow me on Instagram @scoopmystyle

PS- Now when I come home with lots of yellow bags I can feel like I’m not just shopping, I’m working!

And I'm back...

It’s hard to believe what a few months, a kick in the ass and a solid support system can do. My life today is in a completely different place that it was when I wrote my last blog. It is now very obvious I was dealing with some post partum depression  ( I HATE that word!), which is apparently very common when your baby turns 1, as your hormones finally level out from pregnancy. Unfortunately no one had told me this. I was pretty much in panic mode wondering why I had no energy to preform day-to-day tasks, why I would cry at the drop of the hat and why my weight plummeted to a frightening number. Well I am proud to say I’m reporting from the other side and it feels fuckin good! Things that used to stress me out like dealing with a squirming child during a diaper change or a picky eater is now a thing of the past. I have come to realize that every day, actually every minute brings along a new challenge and the only thing to do is smile through it...Or you will lose your shit like I did. I specifically remember Jagger going through a crazy food strike. I would seriously make him 7 different dinners and night after night all he finally ate was a peanut butter sandwich. After weeks of stressing I finally realized I needed to stop trying to force him to eat chicken and meatballs and what not and just give him the damn sandwich first. Well after a few days it was a thing of the past and he now inhales “mamas meatballs”, kale smoothies and pretty much anything I give him. At the time of the strike it felt like the end of the world but If I would have just stopped being so stubborn and listen to my son my nights would have been a lot easier. This rule goes into almost every aspect of his life now. I listen to his needs and wants and stop trying to mold him into what I think he should be. I just don’t budge with sleep, he’s in his crib at 645pm and his little ass isn’t coming out till 7am J

I think part of the problem is that almost all of us go into motherhood with the misconception of what it really means. We believe our kids will adapt to our lives, play by themselves and let us sleep in when we are hung over. Sadly this isn’t the case and a baby is not an accessory, a Chanel bag is. Once you have accepted that your life will never be the same, you have conquered half the battle. I truly think anyone who is considering getting pregnant or has a baby on the way should do an apartment swap with a friend who has a kid for the weekend. Its truly the only way to get an idea of what you are really about to take on. This past weekend Liat and Kevin (my sister and her husband) had a wedding in Delaware. Our usual babysitters stayed at their apt for the weekend to watch Tyler (3.5) and Ryder (14 months) with the help of Shai and I. They are the same girls who have been watching our kids for years and are young and full of energy. They did an incredible job but by the time Sunday rolled around they could hardly move and repeatedly told me how much respect they have for Liat and I that we do this everyday! They usually just see the kids for 3 hours at a time and had no idea what it means to be “on” 24/7. They both agreed it was the best birth control and they no longer feel like they neeeeeeeeed to get married and have kids tomorrow. Shocker ;) Something for you all to consider!

Now as hard and exhausting as being a mother is, there is absolutely nothing else in life I would rather be doing. It is the most amazing feeling to hear my son wake up and call out Mama and Dada and see the enormous smile on his face when we come in. I am in awe of the fact that he is always so excited to see me and greets me with me a huge hug and a delicious kiss on the lips as if he hasn’t seen me in years. He never ceases to amaze me with all the knowledge he absorbs and how every day I am able to teach him new words, animal sounds and actions. Babies are truly remarkable like that. He knows how to hail a cab and call out taxi, he can’t help but dance when music comes on and he is always feeding and kissing his stuffed animals and books. He is seriously just the sweetest little boy in the world. We have so many inside jokes and he thinks I’m the funniest person alive. He is truly so smart and such a fast learner, however I’m pretty sure he will be crawling down the aisle at his wedding! No Jagger isn’t walking yet and I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime too soon. He walks all along furniture and stands alone in the bath but the kids got no balls to just let go and walk.  Can’t win em all. Jagger is truly the light of my life and I am so glad I am finally able to enjoy every little moment with him. I am constantly asked when I’m going to go for baby #2 but I honestly don’t think I can love another child they way I love Jagger, my heart feels like its going to explode every day.

We made it 1 year!!!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m selfishly writing this blog for myself but am pretty sure everyone out there will be able to relate to this post weather you have a baby or not.

Where do I even begin…when I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I look sad, drained, exhausted and skinny. No, not the I have a baby and got my body back skinny, more like that I don’t have the energy to make myself lunch nor do I care. I am not proud of the place I am in but I am finally being honest about it. I live die and breathe for my son. I wake up to the sound of his wines, I spend the day feeding him, changing him, playing with him, reading to him and go to sleep thinking about him. Does this make me a good mom? For a year now I thought it did. I was sure that if I spent every moment of my life engrossed in my son, I would be the best mom out there. I took this job on almost exactly one year ago and I went full steam with it. I was determined to be the best and what I am finally realizing today is that in my attempts to be this mom, I fell short in so many ways. I lost the most important person, myself.

When I read the words out loud I feel like I sound selfish but after numerous conversations in the past few days with friends, family and doctors (yes it been an intense few days) I finally realize that its anything but. If I don’t take care of myself, how can I take care of my home, my husband and most importantly my son?  This past weekend over an argument with Shai I finally hit a brick wall and realized I cant live my life like this anymore. I have no life outside of my son. My moods are affected by if he ate his lunch, had a good nap, enjoyed music class or participated in gym class. I don’t sleep at night worrying that if he has a bad morning, our whole day is ruined or that he refused to nap in the crib and were gonna have to stroller nap it yet again tomorrow. I have become obsessed with everything in his daily life because the sad truth is, I have nothing else going on in mine. The thought of going out to dinners sounds exhausting and I am so unmotivated to do anything fun. When I do have free time (Shai insisted I hire a nanny 2 full days a week in addition to my baby sitter for a few hours the other day) I stick around to make sure Jagger is ok, his food is cut up small enough, he has a good nap and that he is happy. So while its very sweet of Shai to get me the help, I’m too stubborn and crazy to accept it and for once, just let go. I am a control freak, have been my whole life and probably always will be but for the first time its not only affecting my life but Shai’s and even worse Jagger’s.

I used to look at other women who are stay at home moms and think how crazy it is that they have nannies while they are home all day anyway. Today I realized why…its because they deserve some alone time and so do I. I have been ashamed for so long that I need help because I felt like it meant I failed. I couldn’t do it alone, I’m a bad mom. But once this light bulb went off, well it was more like people around me telling me what I needed to hear I have FINALLY come to terms that I am not supermom. I can’t physically do it all and to be honest with you, I don’t want to. After hours and hours of talking to my dad (I’m not sure what I would do without him) we decided I need to start doing things that make me feel good outside of my role as mommy. I’m starting to go back to do yoga, meet friends for lunch, get facials and focus on Liat and I’s new business. I need to be around other adults who can actually have a conversation with me and stimulate my brain just a little bit. I have finally accepted that I have an incredible support system around me and I need to take advantage of that and I plan to. So if you see me at Equinox taking a class or at Chopt having lunch with friends I’m not a bad mom for being away from Jagger, I’m a good mom for taking care of myself. Wow, I feel like weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now you all know how truly fuckin crazy I am. OYE!

Now on a lighter note, my son is 1!!!! Holy shit..Where did the time go? This has honestly been the most challenging, exciting, fun and crazy year of my life and looking back I wouldn’t change it for the world. Jagger is the shit. He has an amazing personality and puts a smile on everyone’s face that sees him. He has become such a little person! He loves music and animals (primarily pigeons, eew), gives a mean French kiss and is obsessed with his penis. He loves playing with his cousins and literally cannot sit still for one second. He is officially off bottles as of Tuesday and I will definitely not miss washing those! He has zero interest in walking but has so much language its crazy. He tells you a cow says moo a lion says roar, he calls DOG every time he sees one and loooooves positive reinforcement and attention. He is so my son. He is an incredible soul and truly my greatest accomplishment yet. I hope in this next year as mama I can learn to go with the flow, relax a bit more and as my brother in law says, CTFD…Calm the f*ck down. Mommy hood is an incredible adventure and its important to take a step back here and there and see how blessed we really are.

The Mommy Maven's

I’m sure you are all wondering where the hell I’ve been and I do feel like a bad blogger for falling off but its for a very exciting reason. Liat and I have started a new business….yes you heard right, and we are finally following through with this one!

I’d like to introduce you all to “The Mommy Mavens” J This business came about after Liat and I realized that SO many people need help with baby related advice. Baby nurse recs, what stroller should I get, do you like your pediatrician, and over and over again, can you check my registry. Since we love helping our friends, we decided to take it to the next level and start this business.

Although we’re starting to work with you while you’re pregnant in preparation for baby we would also like to continue to be there for you after the baby makes his/her debut. Eventually we would like to build a little mommy community where we can have social events to get us mamas together, talking and helping one another. As all you moms out there know, having a baby is the best and most challenging job you will ever have! Someone once described being a new mom as starting a new position where you’re given no direction and your boss speaks a different language. Well we wanna be there to translate. If you have any questions or feedback please email us talishustik@gmail.com or liatkletz@gmail.com