Let's get real

The other night I was with a group of girls with kids ranging from 6 months to 22 months. We were gathered around laughing about what it's really like to have a new baby and how no one talks about. I remember when Jagger was born I gave a pretty honest depiction of what motherhood was like but I'm afraid you all need a refresher course. For those of you who are pregnant now, I am not trying to scare you. In actuality, I'm trying to prepare you for what lies ahead so you don't have to feel how so many of us felt when we went through it...like a miserable, psychotic bitch who wants to shove their baby right back up their vagina.

So I'd to break it down as simply as possible.

Months 0-3 are the absolute hardest. Your days and nights are filled with diaper changes, feeding, burping, crying and googling. While you feel an overwhelming sense of love for your new baby you are also frequently thinking to yourself, why the fuck did I do this. Once you finally get yourself and baby out the door (a task that can easily take 2 hours to do) you see childless people out to lunch, a gorgeous toned girl out for a jog or a carefree couple in love and you realize how easy your life was before and how at that moment, you selfishly want it back.

Around 3 months baby starts sleeping through the night and let me tell you, it is a total game changer!! It is actually frightening what sleep deprivation can do to you and I can guarantee you had way to many stupid fights with your husband that now seem ridiculous. Baby starts to notice you more and starts giving you some feedback. They smile when they see you and may even start to giggle. It’s that moment you realize your baby needs you and your heart starts to melt just a little bit. You still take an hour to get out the house but you now remember everything you need and start to feel a bit more confident. You look at moms with newborns and feel sorry for them that they are only beginning.

At 6-12 months things start to get a bit more fun. Baby is now eating solid foods and you can actually take them to a restaurant. If you forget their bottle it doesn’t matter because they can order off a menu. They enjoy going on the swings, going to zoo and playing with friends. They start crawling and walking and are turning into little people. They still don’t speak so they cry a lot out of frustration and its pretty freakin annoying. You start to look at moms with older kids and are envious that they can sit at a restaurant and actually eat their food in peace. You also wish your kid could communicate with words rather than tears and temper tantrums. Baby starts giving hugs and getting more and more attached to you and the obsession truly begins.

At your child’s first birthday you take a step back and think what the past year has been like. You don’t remember the sleepless nights, you don’t remember the fights you had with your spouse and you don’t remember every little thing feeling stressful. You only remember the smiles, the laughter and incredible joy your baby has brought to your life. You count your blessings and shed a tear (or in my case many) that you made it through the first year in one piece. You feel a sense of love that you have never felt in your life and the fun truly begins.

Now you get to the place where I’m at. Jagger is now almost 21 months and I swear I feel like I have a teenager. From the second that kid comes out of his crib he does not shut up. He tells me what he dreamt about ( Ty Ty and A, Liats nickname) what he wants for breakfast (pakackes and buh, peanut butter) and what he wants to do that day (park and wings, swings). He literally makes me laugh all day and is madly in love with me. I’m sure that fact that I tell him I’m his girlfriend all day contributes to that. Don’t get me wrong; we still have our moments where he’s cranky or whiney and they are certainly not fun but I realize its part of the territory. He obsessed with the word NO and makes it very clear when he’s not interested in doing something. He’s also very stubborn like his mama and will not shut up about something until he gets it. Like every time we walk past an ice cream truck he BEGS for a blue pop (no idea where the hell he got that from) and is relentless. Sometimes I cave and give in but often I have to stick to my guns and teach him he can’t always get what he wants. Some days are definitely better than others but every single night when I’m holding him and singing to him in the dark, he squeezes me extra tight, gives me the biggest open mouth kiss and I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Being Jagger’s mom is seriously the most amazing experience I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My heart feels like it’s going to explode with all the love I have for him and he is the reason I’m crazy enough to do this all over again with baby #2. I promise ladies, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there before you know it.

Here we go again...

So for those of you who didn’t get the memo…I’m pregnant again! It feels like yesterday that I was writing about my pregnancy with Jagger and now two years later I’m going for round 2. Everyone keeps asking me how I found out, was I trying, am I finding out the gender and so on so I figured lets just put it all out there once because I’m just too tired to repeat myself over and over J Lets start from the beginning. Shai and I had always said we want our kids to be close in age so I never even went back on the pill after Jagger. I’m kind of surprised it took even this long for it to happen but needless to say we weren’t trying, we weren’t not trying. I personally think this is best way to get pregnant because there is less stress and anxiety and it happens when it’s supposed to. I’m personally not down with scheduled sex but if it works for you, awesome.

I had a bunch of times I was sure I was pregnant but all were false alarms. However one night I looked at Shai and told him I’m totally pregnant but this time for real. He brushed me off because I got that feeling way too many times. The next day the craziest thing happened, I went into J’s room when he woke up and before I could even take him out of the crib he looked at me, smiled and said baby. Now this kid was an early talker but I know every word he’s ever said (don’t believe me, check Shais excel doc…seriously) and baby certainly wasn’t one of them. I ran into our room with him in tow and he said it again and kissed my stomach. We started to bug out a little but thought there is no way this kid is a psychic. I immediately called Dr Kim and went in that day for blood work…the next day I got the call, I was pregnant!

Side note- apparently Jagger isn’t a genius or a psychic because this is pretty common with kids because they are so connected with their mommy’s- don’t believe me, Google it.

When I found out I was just shy of 5 weeks, which in my books is way too early to find out. Its actually torture because you cant tell everyone and in my case I was already showing! My doctor swears its normal but I’ve never seen anything like this. We started telling our family and close friends and everyone seemed excited but don’t be offended if they’re not jumping up and down about the 2^nd baby, I guess they’re already getting neglected and their still inside you, poor thing. 

Everyone keeps asking me what we are having and I hate to break it to you all but we are not finding out with this one either. I know I know were psycho but I have to say when I gave birth to Jagger and I heard the words meet your son I almost died and I want that feeling again. Although I am pretty sure it’s a girl this time. Why you ask, because I have already gained 9 pounds in 14 weeks! Yes you heard right, 9 lbs.! Only a girl would torment her mama like this ;) Aside from the weight gain, this entire pregnancy feels different. My first trimester with Jagger I was full of energy, at the gym for hours every day and felt nauseous one time. This time around I felt like I was gonna vom pretty much all day (but never did) and could pass out at any given time. I went to the gym a few days a week but would mostly just stand on the precore and pretend I was moving (probably the explanation for my 9lb weight gain!) Believe it or not, I don’t actually have a preference of one over the other. A boy would definitely be easier as I have all the clothes and toys and I already know the difference between a digger an excavator and a combine harvester. But between Jagger, Tyler and Ryder we certainly don’t have a shortage of penises running around! It would also be fun to have a hot pink nursery and braid my daughters hair and have tea parties but then they grow up and turn in bitches and I’m not sure I can handle that J In all seriousness I just want a healthy happy baby…that looks like Jagger.