Where has my child gone?

So I have officially lost my sweet amazing kind little boy. In the past week he has turned a corner, or for lack of better words walked into a deep dark tunnel and there is no turning back. I never understood what people meant when they said Terrible 2s or Threenager but I have just been rudely awakened. I swear in the last week my son has turned psychotic. It not the right cup, I need that toy, don’t help me- help me!, I wanna do it by myself and the best one yet…I don’t love you anymore.

I am more physically and mentally drained this week than I was when he was a newborn and I feel there is no end. There are moments when I break down and cry because I just cant handle it and there are moments like right now, when Shai and I are filling out his pre school forms and we cannot stop laughing about who our child really has become. We received a short questionnaire and decided to write down our answers we are sending in and below it, what we really want to say. I’m sure many of you with a child around his age can attest.

TELL US HOW A BIT ABOUT YOUR CHILD SPENT THEIR SUMMER:

For the fist 8 weeks he attended camp at Temple Israel which he absolutely loved. The majority of our weekends were spent out east with our family at the beach.

Hallucinating…About everything

WHAT ARE YOUR CHILDS INTERESTS RIGHT NOW:

He loves playing with his toys, playing sports, going to central park and anything outdoors (beach, parks, etc).

Crying, screaming...You know, all that good stuff

WHAT OTHER CLASSES OR PROGRAMS WILL YOUR CHILD ATTEND THIS YEAR?

A sports class and some classes at The Playroom NYC

Therapy..lots of it

HOW DO YOU FIND YOUR CHILD HANDLES NEW SITUATIONS:

He has a hard time at first and can come off very shy but with time adapts well.

We avoid them at all costs, why ruffle feathers?

IS THERE ANYTHING HE/SHE TENDS TO AVOID?

Not that I can think of

I read the question as what do you tend to avoid and my response was:

Toy stores, supermarkets, Walgreens, parks or anywhere else that he may see a new toy and NEED it, resulting in a full blown meltdown

WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR THE YEAR?

For Jagger to gain some independence, try new things and make friends.

For him to get a grip and realize how fkn lucky he is

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT US KNOW IN ADVANCE OF THE SCHOOL YEAR?

Jagger now has a 7 month old sister

While Jagger is the most adorable, sweet, bright little boy, he can also manipulate the hell out of you, not give up until he gets his way and turn bat shit crazy in the blink of an eye. We wish you lots of luck

*If you are one of Jaggers teachers or anyone involved in his pre school this is TOTALLY an exaggeration...Kind of.

Its a girl!!!

I can’t even believe I am writing this but I officially feel like an adult..I have 2 kids!! I’m sure most people would say monumental events like moving out, getting engaged, getting married, or having a child would make them an adult but until now I felt like I was still 16 playing pretend. But now I look around my apartment and I am a mother of 2 and I suddenly feel all grown up.

It feels like yesterday that I was writing my blog about my delivery with Jagger and how easy breezy it was. I assumed all of my birthing experiences would be the same but boy was I wrong. I don’t mean to scare any of you but I’m going to give it to you straight. Let me start by saying my entire 9 months of pregnancy was amazing. I felt great, I never threw up and I was able to wear most of my non-maternity clothes till the very end.  I was extremely lucky and I knew it. As my final days of pregnancy approached I didn’t even think about the birth, hadn’t packed my hospital bag and hadn’t really thought about how my life was about to change. I was simply too busy entertaining Jagger, packing my apartment to move and working on getting a new business off the ground (that’s w hole other blog itself which will be coming soon!!)

 No big deal, just 3 major life moments all within weeks of one another.

Anyway on Monday night I started feeling really off, beyond exhausted, nauseas and just blah.  I knew this baby was telling me they are getting ready to make their grand entrance. I went to bed Tuesday night (my birthday) feeling like shit. I had such bad cramps and a lot of back pain. I woke up at midnight with what felt like the worst period cramps every 30-40 minutes. I didn’t want to wake Shai yet so I tried to tough it out. By 3am I was in the living room doubled over in pain. I went to our room, tapped Shai on the shoulder and told him in the calmest way that I was in labor…it was kind of eerie how calm I was. He looks up at me in a semi panic that he had just taken  NyQuill 2 hour’s ago- perfect. I got in the shower while he packed a bag and before I knew it we were headed to Mt Sinai. The cab ride up was hell, I’m pretty sure the driver was afraid I was going to give birth in his cab because I was crying as each contraction came, so he drove all of 5 miles an hour thinking it would relax me.  Wrong buddy, very very wrong.

Within minutes of arriving at the hospital I was checked in and made my way to the delivery room. The OB on call was already there delivering someone else and thank god for that. She checked me and I was already 6cm dilated. I knew it, I had waited to long to go in. I BEGGED for anesthesia to come right away but the next 20 minutes of waiting was hell. My contractions were minutes apart and totally unbearable. They finally came in and when she was threading my catheter I knew something wasn’t right. I felt everything and it did not feel good! As I waited for it to kick in I started feeling numb on my left side but my right side felt totally normal. I called them in twice to check it but they kept assuring me if I lay on my right side the epidural would take to that side…WRONG! It never did and as the next hour went on I felt every contraction. After a while I started to panic as the pain got worse and worse. I made the doctor check me again and I was 10 cm- it was time to push and I wasn’t numb. What the FUCK. Everything happened so fast but before I knew it I had Shai on one side of me and my sister on the other and I was pushing this child out. Without getting too graphic I will tell you that the next 15 minutes I experienced the worst pain of my life. I cried and screamed through the whole delivery.  I felt the baby’s head, I felt the episiotomy and I felt the stitches.  I don’t wish this pain on my worst enemy, it was inhumane and I can’t wrap my head around why anyone would voluntarily not get an epidural and choose to feel this way!!! You are a bunch of twisted bitches J

While this was complete torture I was in absolute shock when she told me I had a daughter- OMG! When they put her on my chest all the pain I went through went away and nothing mattered but her.  She was so cute and tiny and looked exactly like Jagger did when he was born, but with a vagina.

While I’m pretty sure she thinks my baby nurse is her mom because I hardly get to see her (2 kids is SO different than 1) I could not be more obsessed. She is so sweet and cuddly and I can’t believe I have a daughter. Now I just have to make sure I don’t fuck her up!!

So this is actually happening...

I know almost all of my recent blogs start with, "sorry I'm such a shitty poster these days but, I'm so busy with Jagger..." and so on and so forth. However, this time my reasoning goes beyond the fact that I have a demanding 2 year old (yes he's 2!!! and I gave him no FB love- bad mommy), that we're renovating a new apartment and I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant. This time it's legit....Liat and I are BEYOND excited to announce we will be opening the Upper  East Side's newest playspace The Playroom NYC!!!!  Ahhhh it feels so good to finally be able to put it out there :)

Before I share what exactly this means I'd like to tell you how this all began. In case you didn't know, between the two of us we have 3 very active boys ranging from 22 months to 4 years old. While we are very lucky we live next door to one another, literally steps away and our kids have each other to play with, we found we were always bored with no where to go and nothing to do. Yes there are classes and some even offer open play, but they almost never work with our kids schedules. The allocated times often conflict with lunch time, nap time or bath time.

We took our desire to find something to do and decided over a year ago that we wanted to make a business out of it. Yes, this has been a year in the making!

We agreed it should be on the UES as it's not only kid central but we would have the luxury of going to work and our kids could come see us anytime. We found the perfect location on a ground floor on 1st avenue between 75&76th and couldn't believe it when we signed the lease. This was really happening!!

Our business model is "All play all day" because we don't want to put time restrictions on when you can play. Maybe you have an hour to kill before your kid's haircut or you don't feel like hosting 5 mommys for a play date at your apartment. Whatever the reason or time, we want you to come play at us!

We will be offering limited memberships, play packs, or you can purchase single visits...whatever works for YOU. We will also have an awesome party room for birthday parties, events and classes. If you would like to be kept up on what's going on please subscribe on our website www.theplayroomnyc.com.

We hope you're as excited as we are and would love any feedback or ideas you may have.

Ps- Who the hell ever thought the “Haddad” sisters would actually follow through and do something…certainly not me!!

Follow @theplayroomnyc 

Let's get real

The other night I was with a group of girls with kids ranging from 6 months to 22 months. We were gathered around laughing about what it's really like to have a new baby and how no one talks about. I remember when Jagger was born I gave a pretty honest depiction of what motherhood was like but I'm afraid you all need a refresher course. For those of you who are pregnant now, I am not trying to scare you. In actuality, I'm trying to prepare you for what lies ahead so you don't have to feel how so many of us felt when we went through it...like a miserable, psychotic bitch who wants to shove their baby right back up their vagina.

So I'd to break it down as simply as possible.

Months 0-3 are the absolute hardest. Your days and nights are filled with diaper changes, feeding, burping, crying and googling. While you feel an overwhelming sense of love for your new baby you are also frequently thinking to yourself, why the fuck did I do this. Once you finally get yourself and baby out the door (a task that can easily take 2 hours to do) you see childless people out to lunch, a gorgeous toned girl out for a jog or a carefree couple in love and you realize how easy your life was before and how at that moment, you selfishly want it back.

Around 3 months baby starts sleeping through the night and let me tell you, it is a total game changer!! It is actually frightening what sleep deprivation can do to you and I can guarantee you had way to many stupid fights with your husband that now seem ridiculous. Baby starts to notice you more and starts giving you some feedback. They smile when they see you and may even start to giggle. It’s that moment you realize your baby needs you and your heart starts to melt just a little bit. You still take an hour to get out the house but you now remember everything you need and start to feel a bit more confident. You look at moms with newborns and feel sorry for them that they are only beginning.

At 6-12 months things start to get a bit more fun. Baby is now eating solid foods and you can actually take them to a restaurant. If you forget their bottle it doesn’t matter because they can order off a menu. They enjoy going on the swings, going to zoo and playing with friends. They start crawling and walking and are turning into little people. They still don’t speak so they cry a lot out of frustration and its pretty freakin annoying. You start to look at moms with older kids and are envious that they can sit at a restaurant and actually eat their food in peace. You also wish your kid could communicate with words rather than tears and temper tantrums. Baby starts giving hugs and getting more and more attached to you and the obsession truly begins.

At your child’s first birthday you take a step back and think what the past year has been like. You don’t remember the sleepless nights, you don’t remember the fights you had with your spouse and you don’t remember every little thing feeling stressful. You only remember the smiles, the laughter and incredible joy your baby has brought to your life. You count your blessings and shed a tear (or in my case many) that you made it through the first year in one piece. You feel a sense of love that you have never felt in your life and the fun truly begins.

Now you get to the place where I’m at. Jagger is now almost 21 months and I swear I feel like I have a teenager. From the second that kid comes out of his crib he does not shut up. He tells me what he dreamt about ( Ty Ty and A, Liats nickname) what he wants for breakfast (pakackes and buh, peanut butter) and what he wants to do that day (park and wings, swings). He literally makes me laugh all day and is madly in love with me. I’m sure that fact that I tell him I’m his girlfriend all day contributes to that. Don’t get me wrong; we still have our moments where he’s cranky or whiney and they are certainly not fun but I realize its part of the territory. He obsessed with the word NO and makes it very clear when he’s not interested in doing something. He’s also very stubborn like his mama and will not shut up about something until he gets it. Like every time we walk past an ice cream truck he BEGS for a blue pop (no idea where the hell he got that from) and is relentless. Sometimes I cave and give in but often I have to stick to my guns and teach him he can’t always get what he wants. Some days are definitely better than others but every single night when I’m holding him and singing to him in the dark, he squeezes me extra tight, gives me the biggest open mouth kiss and I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. Being Jagger’s mom is seriously the most amazing experience I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My heart feels like it’s going to explode with all the love I have for him and he is the reason I’m crazy enough to do this all over again with baby #2. I promise ladies, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there before you know it.

Here we go again...

So for those of you who didn’t get the memo…I’m pregnant again! It feels like yesterday that I was writing about my pregnancy with Jagger and now two years later I’m going for round 2. Everyone keeps asking me how I found out, was I trying, am I finding out the gender and so on so I figured lets just put it all out there once because I’m just too tired to repeat myself over and over J Lets start from the beginning. Shai and I had always said we want our kids to be close in age so I never even went back on the pill after Jagger. I’m kind of surprised it took even this long for it to happen but needless to say we weren’t trying, we weren’t not trying. I personally think this is best way to get pregnant because there is less stress and anxiety and it happens when it’s supposed to. I’m personally not down with scheduled sex but if it works for you, awesome.

I had a bunch of times I was sure I was pregnant but all were false alarms. However one night I looked at Shai and told him I’m totally pregnant but this time for real. He brushed me off because I got that feeling way too many times. The next day the craziest thing happened, I went into J’s room when he woke up and before I could even take him out of the crib he looked at me, smiled and said baby. Now this kid was an early talker but I know every word he’s ever said (don’t believe me, check Shais excel doc…seriously) and baby certainly wasn’t one of them. I ran into our room with him in tow and he said it again and kissed my stomach. We started to bug out a little but thought there is no way this kid is a psychic. I immediately called Dr Kim and went in that day for blood work…the next day I got the call, I was pregnant!

Side note- apparently Jagger isn’t a genius or a psychic because this is pretty common with kids because they are so connected with their mommy’s- don’t believe me, Google it.

When I found out I was just shy of 5 weeks, which in my books is way too early to find out. Its actually torture because you cant tell everyone and in my case I was already showing! My doctor swears its normal but I’ve never seen anything like this. We started telling our family and close friends and everyone seemed excited but don’t be offended if they’re not jumping up and down about the 2^nd baby, I guess they’re already getting neglected and their still inside you, poor thing. 

Everyone keeps asking me what we are having and I hate to break it to you all but we are not finding out with this one either. I know I know were psycho but I have to say when I gave birth to Jagger and I heard the words meet your son I almost died and I want that feeling again. Although I am pretty sure it’s a girl this time. Why you ask, because I have already gained 9 pounds in 14 weeks! Yes you heard right, 9 lbs.! Only a girl would torment her mama like this ;) Aside from the weight gain, this entire pregnancy feels different. My first trimester with Jagger I was full of energy, at the gym for hours every day and felt nauseous one time. This time around I felt like I was gonna vom pretty much all day (but never did) and could pass out at any given time. I went to the gym a few days a week but would mostly just stand on the precore and pretend I was moving (probably the explanation for my 9lb weight gain!) Believe it or not, I don’t actually have a preference of one over the other. A boy would definitely be easier as I have all the clothes and toys and I already know the difference between a digger an excavator and a combine harvester. But between Jagger, Tyler and Ryder we certainly don’t have a shortage of penises running around! It would also be fun to have a hot pink nursery and braid my daughters hair and have tea parties but then they grow up and turn in bitches and I’m not sure I can handle that J In all seriousness I just want a healthy happy baby…that looks like Jagger.