The latest...

So I’m saying it again, I know I haven’t written in forever but I hate to say it...There are other things I have to do other than write a blog. Like washing my hair, cleaning Jaggers toys or pureeing his food. Yes you heard correctly, I’m making all his baby food. We gave him his first solids on his 6-month birthday and it was really adorable. Side note- why the f*ck are they called “solids” when its really all pureed foods?!?! Anyway, I am definitely not one to hate on you mamas for buying jarred food but I still feel guilty about not being able to breast feed (yes I’m psycho), So I figured the least I can do is puree away. I never thought I would say this because you can rarely find me in the kitchen but I LOVE making his food. It’s actually very relaxing and it’s kinda fun to come up with creations for him. Shai also thinks I’m supermom for making it, which is very sweet. So far I have gone as basic as butternut squash to spinach & pear and yams & kale (all organic).  I’m sure some of you are gagging but this kid annihilates his bowl of kale..proud mama indeed. He has liked every single food I’ve put in front of him with the acceptation of avocado. He definitely has his father’s appetite and loves to eat!

We are currently doing 2 meals a day and I have a feeling Dr Barry will tell us to take it to 3 meals at our next appointment since he loves it so much. For breakfast he has full fat fage yogurt with baby oatmeal and bananas- he’s so grown up its scaring me!! And for dinner he has some veggie concoction that I make with usually 2 bowls of organic unsweetened applesauce for dessert. I told you- my kid is an animal. I really recommend you moms at least trying to make your babies food. Its not only easy and healthy, I’m pretty sure it’s cheaper. Not the best at math but that’s what I hear on the mean streets of the Upper East Side. My pediatrician also told me that I should give J water out of a straw cup (not a sippy!) at 6 months. He said after a while he will accidently get water up the straw and learn to use it. I’m not sure how but the 2^nd time he tried it voila- he got it. He now loooooves drinking water out of the cup and gets so excited every time he does it.

PS- I use the Beaba.

In other Jagger news he has developed a new obsession..swings. I have NEVER seen a kid so happy as when he’s on that thing. I’m starting to think its bringing him back beautiful memories of his lamb swing he loved so much as a newborn. Literally EVERY nanny comes over to watch him swing because he has a smile from ear to ear. I even purchased a swing that goes in the doorway so he can swing all day at home but the poor kid kept knocking his head on the wall #epicfail.  Guess I'll stick to the park on 67^th street.

Now it may sound like everything is easy peasy but its definitely not. My little doll is getting teeth and it is NOT fun. So far one bottom one is through and another is slowly rearing its ugly head. For the greater part of the day Jagger is biting down on something. Apparently most babies love those teething toys you freeze but not my Jagger boy. His favorite teething toy is my collarbone and let me tell you, it does not feel good. Those gums are strong! I have tried everything from a frozen washcloth, to baby Orajel and nothing seems to take away the pain when it hits, which by the way is so random-ugh! I know Tylenol is commonly used but I prefer to go the natural route as often as possible. If I don’t use medicine myself that often, I’m certainly not gonna use it on my son unless its REALLY needed. So this brings me to question for all you moms out there. Has ANYONE tried an amber necklace? I know its very hippy dippy but it seems amazing on their websites. According to my trusty Google, amber is a natural analgesic and babies who wear the necklace just feel better. I just need to hear it from a “real mom” if it works so any input is greatly appreciated.

Aside from this teething thing hes just freakin awesome. He has so much personality and is such a fun little boy. Hes sitting up so nicely, minus the few times he fell back and hit his head on the wood floor (oops) and is starting to scoot backwards on his belly. Every month I say to myself “this is the best age” and then somehow it just gets better and better. 

The Storm

So you know the saying “when it rains it pours”, well these past 2 weeks have been a freakin hurricane! Let me take it from the top.

 About 2 weeks ago I’m about to give J a bath when all of a sudden I feel nauseous. I’m thinking it will pass but as the minutes go by it gets worse and worse. I look at Shai, tell him he’s on his own and make a beeline for the bathroom. I’m sitting over the toilet and nothing will come out but I feel like I’m gonna die. I decided to stick my fingers down my throat because something needed to come out (The only upside to having my adolescence destroyed by an eating disorder). I literally cannot stop throwing up. Once it finally stops I take a look in the mirror and think OMG, I’m pregnant. I share what just happened with Shai and he looks like he won the goddam lottery. He could not be happier.  While he’s busy naming our second child, I take a test and thank g-d its negative. However within days my family went down like dominos. First Kev, then Tyler, then Liat, damn stomach bug. I’m thinking somehow J is in the clear but no chance I’m that lucky. One afternoon after a play date I pick him up out of the stroller and this kid made me his bitch. He threw up ALL over me. It was honestly one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen and I felt so helpless. Fortunately for us he only threw up twice but let me tell you, it was 2X too many. As the days went on he wasn’t throwing up anymore but still a mess. He used to take an 8oz a bottle (yes my sons an animal) and I was now force-feeding him 4oz. It got so bad that some bottles he refused to take at all and we had to give him pedialite so he at least got electrolytes. This stomach bug was lingering in my baby big time.

The days were becoming really hard because feeding was so stressful. I literally wouldn’t breath during feedings because I was afraid any movement would make him stop. This went on for so many days that I was convinced he was trying to slim down for his first summer in the Hamptons. I finally got to ask Dr Barry and he said the world is just much more interesting to him now and he would rather look around than eat and being sick didn’t help him…awesome!

As hard as the days were, the nights were become a nightmare too. Jagger has been sleeping through the night (7pm-7am) beautifully for almost a month now but 2 weeks ago when the “storm” started his nights turned into a mess too.  He started waking up every single morning at 5am crying. We would look in the monitor and he seemed to be stuck in the top left corner of his crib. Sidenote- he sleeps on his tummy now that he rolls over so I think that makes it even harder to move out. How the hell does he even get all the way up there, the kid doesn’t crawl?!?! So for the first few nights Shai or I would move him back to middle of the crib and he would go back to sleep.  Once the bug happened we were afraid he was hungry because he was hardly eating during the day so I would feed him, then put him back down. Well this kept on going for days so we said no more food and we would just move him. Well after consulting with Donna (my guru from the Big City moms support group), I came to learn it’s a 4-month sleep regression. Seriously! WTF, Just as they start sleeping you get hit with this bullshit! So the new rule last night was to let him cry for up to 12 minutes, if he doesn’t stop only go in then and get him back to sleep. Well Shai and I were all ready to leave him and what does this kid do? He sleeps till 720 this morning! You literally never know what you’re going to get!

If this isn’t enough to call these 2 weeks a storm, Shai catches the bug yesterday. I’m pretty sure it’s a man thing, not a Shai thing but he has been the worst out of everyone! All he does is complain and wine like a little bitch and I can honestly say my 4 month old was more of a man about it than he was. As he finally started feeling better someone up there decides to hit me with the ultimate F U and after 15 months thought it was a good time for me to get my period. Holy Shit!!!!! To say this has been a rough 2 weeks is an understatement. I must deserve a medal, or at least a cookie cake.

The craziest thing about this all, is that at the end of every long hard day, I plant a fat French kiss on my son’s mouth and tell him I love him more than life, because I do. He has my heart forever and he is my everything.

Milestones!

Every new experience your baby has is so exciting. The first time they hold your finger, the first time they smile at you and yes, the first time you get peed on is an exciting day too. I can honestly say this week has been the most monumental in Jaggers entire 16 weeks of existence. Side note- how has he only been in my life for 16 weeks! It feels like he’s been a part of my life forever! Anyway back to the story, in exactly 1 week my son had his first real giggle, rolled over and started sleeping through the night! Is that normal to have so many milestones at once?! Well for my Jagger boy it is and each one was amazing in its own way.

 Let me start with his first giggle. I get weekly emails from BabyCenter and the bump and as of his 11^th week it was saying he should be giggling. Being a crazy Jewish mama I started wondering why my boy wasn’t giggling. Was he depressed? Was I not fun enough for him? After asking Shai almost every day for a week I realized I’m being crazy and reminded myself that each kid develops at his own pace and I finally got over it. He was handing out smiles left and right and I should shut up and take it. On Saturday we are hanging out at Liats apartment with my parents in town from Florida and Kevin (her husband) parents here from South Africa all just playing with the kids. His mom was making funny noises at J and he just burst into laughter! I was DYING! It was the best sound I have ever heard and brought us all a huge smile. I seriously cant wait for all you new mamas out there to hear your baby giggle because it is the BEST!

Now the roll over story is one that makes me a little bit sad. While Gen Gen is away on her last baby nurse job, I have this amazing girl Ali who comes 2x a week so Mama can have a little break. She came yesterday morning so I headed out and went to the gym. On the way home I bumped into Shai on the street and he tells me “something big happened today” and proceeds to tell me that our boy rolled over. I literally yelled NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO in the middle of the street because I couldn’t believe I missed it. I’m with this kid 24/7 and he decided to do tricks while I try burn off my baby fat. The good news was that Ali saw it coming and somehow got it on video, so while I was getting my legs waxed I watched my son roll over for the very first time. And yes, for those of you wondering, I cried watching it and I’m sure the very nice lady at the threading place thinks I’m psycho.

Now for the very best moment yet…Jagger is sleeping through the night- wooohoooo!!!!! I have been waiting for this moment since the day he was born when a full nights sleep went out the window. We had spoken to our pediatrician at his 8 week check up about sleep training and while he is ALL for crying it out, he says feed on demand till he’s at least 12 weeks and showing signs that he can do it, like sleeping 8 hour stretches at night. In our house whatever Dr Barry says goes, so my little doll was happily chugging a 6 ounces at 4am every night. At our 3-month appointment we re-addressed the sleep issue and we went home with a homework assignment. We needed to put J down after his 7pm bottle awake. This was going to be a challenge because come 6pm this boy starts fading and ALWAYS fell asleep on the bottle, then we would put him down and he would sleep till his middle of the night bottle so we thought nothing of this. Ok it was time to switch things up in the Shustik house. We started feeding him with the lights completely on while having semi loud conversations in order to keep him up and it worked. The first night we put him in he cried for 4 minutes, stuck his thumb in his mouth and was out. We couldn’t believe it. For the next few nights we did the same and J was a champ, he would roll around and “talk” for a few minutes then fall asleep. Phase 1 complete and not bad at all! We were now ready for the cry it out for the 4am bottle which I was dreading! Its one thing to hear my baby cry at 7pm while Shai’s up and were eating dinner and can talk to each other but I was terrified for this one. Shai asked that we wait to start this on a Friday because he wouldn’t be able to work after a night of screaming and I agreed. However J threw a curve ball at us. That night that we discussed it (last Wednesday) he decides to wake up crying at 1230. This was very weird because he hadn’t had at 1230 bottle for weeks now. I look at Shai and tell him the plan has changed and we had to start now. I did as Barry said, I waited 5 minutes then went in and rubbed his belly for 20 seconds, told him I loved him and walked out. HOLY SHIT I have never heard this kid cry so hard. He said we can keep going in at 5-10 minute intervals if we wanted but I saw how much worse it made him and I realized I needed to just let him cry. FML! Shai lay there with a pillow over his head and I sat up with my hands over my ears staring at the monitor and clock preying it would stop. It lasted for 36 minutes with very few intervals of calmness and finally he gave up and crashed. This was probably the hardest 36 minutes of my life. I started thinking maybe he was hungry or something’s wrong, will he hate me? Am I fucking him up? But I had to keep reminding myself that Liat did it with Tyler and he is one of the happiest kids I know. Ok I figured we are in the clear for the night but I was wrong. 416am rolls around and he’s crying again! I took a deep breath and waited. This time it lasted 16 minutes. I was so tempted to go in and feed him but knew if I did that the previous cry session would have been a huge waste and he would always think I was coming in. Kids are a lot smarter than we think! So I finally got myself back to sleep and the second he woke up the next morning at 7 Shai and I both ran in there together, looked over the crib and Jagger flashed us the biggest smile. Ahhh what a relief. He didn’t hate us!!! Thursday night rolls around and I am DREADING it. We put him down, have our night get in to bed and although I was asleep, I was waiting for the screams to begin. All of a sudden I wake up at 620 and realize, he’s not only still asleep but didn’t make a peep the whole night! I was so excited, proud and most of all shocked!  Every night this week he has gone down at 7ish and I don’t hear from him till 6ish in the morning, with the exception of Tuesday nights 10 minutes of crying at 430 (not sure what that was). Let me tell you, its life changing to get a full nights sleep! Maybe I'll even get out of my leggings one of these days...Maybe.

I’m sure many of you out there are thinking I’m a cold bitch for letting a baby cry and believe me it was NOT easy but I think its important for babies to learn to self soothe and to give them a chance to gain independence (when its age appropriate of course). Co sleeping or feeding on demand till Jagger is one is not something I wanted to do and I am very happy with my decision.  Now don’t any of you go putting evil eye on me because mama needs her sleep!!

And we're at 12 weeks!

You guys probably don’t even remember me as it has been SO long since I’ve written but I’ve been a little busy these past few weeks..Nothing major, I just have a 12 week old consuming my every waking (and sleeping) moment. So you guys really understand what being a new mommy is, I’ll set up the scene for you as I write this blog. Its 930am, my son is in the crib taking a nap (yes - a nap at 9:30AM) and I'm sitting in bed, still in my pjs, hair up in a messy bun with my teeth still un-brushed. I would say this is a pretty typical morning in the Shustik house and I am semi embarrassed to say it out loud. I see some new mommies in full hair and makeup with their high heels on and I seriously have so much respect for them. How the hell do they do it!?!? I have finally come to terms that leggings and a sweater are decked for me and if I have blush and chap stick on, I’m all dolled up and feeling fab…it’s pathetic. This is what brings me to what Shai and I have described our new life as..It’s the NEW normal. I used to wake up, leisurely make my way to the gym, meet a girlfriend for lunch, play with Tyler, hit up Bloomingdales and call it a day. Now, it’s a miracle if I eat a meal sitting down and make it into a store without my boy crying that he's too damn hot in all his layers. But I have to say, I wouldn’t change this life for anything in the world. Having a baby changes everything and while there are definitely some moments where I dream of my old fabulous life, where if I got hungry, we simply go out for a meal, I then look at my son and nothing in the world matters but him. Yes, I have become one of those sappy mamas’s who is obsessed with their child and he's all I talk about all day every day.

 For those of you who don’t stalk me on Facebook or instagram (and why wouldn't you) you should know my son is a rock star. He was actually born with a Mohawk! For all of you always ask me what we use in his hair, most days its au natural but for special occasions daddy styles it with Aquafor. He has big beautiful blue eyes (my dream come true) and is a spitting image of his handsome daddy. Apparently I was just the carrier because if you guys didn’t see Shai, you would think he was adopted. We look NOTHING alike, however according to Shai he pouts just like his mama. Yes he will be manipulating me his whole life with that little pout just like I do to Shai. He is the love of my life and because of what an amazing little boy he is, Shai wants 6 more of him and in an ideal world, he would like me to be pregnant again tomorrow. While I want at least 2 more I don’t think I'm ready just yet as having a baby is a lot of work, a lot of sacrifices and lot of sleepless nights!

Lately Shai and I have been down each ohers throats, more like me down his, because I am just so overwhelmed with all the little things that need to get done that need to keep my baby boy alive and well. Shai and I finally worked out a system this week and it has helped us so much. I used to do all the middle of the night feedings, plus the first one in the morning, wash all the bottles and spend the entire day with him, which don’t get me wrong, its amazing but is also exhausting. I was starting to get cranky and become that annoying wife who bitches at her husband when he walks through the door..ugh! So my problem-solving husband and I sat down and made a plan that would work better. J is now down to 1 feeding in the middle of the night so we do the 7pm bottle together, I do the 3am bottle and once Jagger is up in the morning, Shai feeds him, dresses him for the day and lets me sleep till about 8ish. Let me tell you, this has been life changing!! I feel so much more rested and happier and Shai and I are finally in sync. See it’s all about compromise and seeing what does work and what doesn’t and making the best out of the “new normal”.

I can truly say these last 6 weeks have been incredible (I'm the first to admit that the first 6 are uneventful and scary). He is smiling ALL the time and we have little conversations all day long. While I realize its just random noises he makes, I swear we get each other and we will sit and gossip all day long). I sound like a crazy person don’t I?  This is why it's very important as a new mom to keep yourself busy and socialize as often as possible so you don’t go stir crazy. We go over to Liat’s all the time so all the boys can “play”. Did I mention that we literally live 4 steps from each other now as our apartment downstairs flooded 2 weeks ago...Don't ask. So when she moved into a 3 bedroom when baby Ryder came along, we moved into her apartment until our new apartment is ready in June. Yes my life is constant chaos and by the time J is 6 months he will have lived in 3 different apartments already! Anyway, I also go to my moms group through Big City Moms once a week which I HIGHLY recommend to all new moms, and we have play dates as often as possible. Anything to get us out of the house and talking to other people besides each other all day!

 I can literally go on for hours about all the changes we have made in our lives for him, but it’s all irrelevant. The point is baby changes everything and you need to be ready to be truly selfless. No one matters but him and he has brought more happiness in 12 weeks than anything in my 29 years of existence. So to those new moms out there feeling overwhelmed and stressed, just remember how lucky you are and start counting your blessings. Before we know it they will be out of the house, married and want nothing to do with us…Kill me!