From Flat to WTF?!?!

Gaining weight during pregnancy isn’t easy for anyone. I don’t care how Zen and carefree you are, getting bigger sucks. I cant imagine anyone who enjoys watching their ass get fat, ankles get swollen and boobs that now look like porn stars (ok maybe that part isn’t all that bad), but the reality is..It’s HARD!! Gaining weight has been an especially difficult part of this adventure for me. I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13 years old. What started as a diet to lose a few pounds eventually turned into full-blown anorexia by the time I was16. I watched everything that went in my mouth, which was very little and always made sure to burn it off with hours and hours at the gym. I did back to back spin classes before most people were awake. Going out for meals with friends- TORTURE!! I would rather have sat home and pulled every hair from my head than have to sit at a table and eat with others. Eating was most enjoyed in private, where I could do my weird rituals and eat my crazy calorie free meals alone. As the years went on, my eating disorder got worse and worse. Friends, family, teachers and strangers were all concerned for my health, but I didn’t care. I was skinny and in my mind, it was all worth the pain. I will never forget one night in November 2006 my dad came to me with tears in eyes. He said he couldn’t watch me like this anymore and If I didn’t go to rehab, he wasn’t able to be around me any longer. For once, I actually saw the pain and suffering my family was going through and I finally agreed to go. One week later I was off to Florida to the facility Milestones In Recovery for my in-patient treatment. What was supposed to be a 30-day stay, turned into 60 days in-patient followed by 30 days out patient. I can honestly say that my 90-day stint in rehab not only saved my life, but also changed me as a person forever. I went in as a sad tortured 89-pound girl and left as a healthy happy woman. I learned to embrace my body, eat mindfully and for the first time in years, enjoy life.

Which brings me to the now, I am by NO means am I saying I have some rockin little body but I’m not afraid to put on a teeny weeny bikini and work it on the beach. I work my ass off to try stay toned and tight and eat healthy 99.9% of the time (with the exception of Sunday funday where I take down Eddy’s slow churned ice cream like its nobody’s business). It’s all about moderation and staying on track.

Watching my growing belly has been both an exciting and terrifying time for me. There are days where I feel strong, beautiful and amazed that there is another human being inside me, and there are days where I cant look in the mirror because I literally don’t recognize my own body. In order to keep myself feeling like a normal person, I have made sure I keep up with my exercise and eating healthy. I make sure I hit the gym 5-6 days a week and get in a good workout without pushing myself too hard. I do yoga 2X a week with the amazing Lara Benusis (if you can get to any of her classes I highly recommend it, her website it www.larabenusis.com). I also do cardio 2-3X a week and light weights 2X a week. Working out has not only kept me feeling strong and empowered, but it keeps me sane as well.

Eating healthy is the other part of feeling good throughout your pregnancy. I make sure to eat tons of salads, fish, fruit, eggs and nuts in my daily regimen. I eat super healthy on Monday-Saturday but allow myself a “cheat day” on Sundays. Between Keeping Up With the Kardashians and eating dessert, Sundays are hands down my favorite day of the week! Because I am such an extremist I know that if I don’t give myself this day to splurge, the second I eat something bad I’ll feel guilty all day and think the whole week is a wash and not eat properly.  Having my cheat day keeps me on track all week and gives me a day to eat guilt free.  While I realize sitting on our asses eating donuts and bagels sounds like a lot more fun, we all know we wont feel good about ourselves. So to all my preggies out there…get up off the couch, put on your Lulu’s and go work up a sweat!

Me in 2006 pre rehab

Me in 2012 preg

Choosing the right doctor

I have always had a love/hate relationship with doctors. I love going to them, but always hate their solutions to my problems. I officially diagnosed myself with hypochondria at a young age and have struggled with the disease ever since. I have died 10X over from heart attacks, brain tumors and all forms of cancer. Due to extreme dizziness in my adult life, I have had countless amounts of blood drawn, X-rays, MRI’s and CT scans in search of the right doctor to tell me what was killing me. Well it turns out it was just anxiety...Who knew? But the point is, I have more doctors in my IPhone than friends and I realize that is a huge problem!

You can only imagine the stress I felt when it was time to choose a doctor that I would spend the next nine months with and help bring a healthy baby into this world. I was referred to a doctor by a friend and thought OK- maybe this wouldn’t be so hard.

That Friday I went to visit the doctor, I’ll call him Dr X. Shai met me at the office and both he and the flip video greeted me when I walked in (He loves to capture it all). I striped down and started crying with anticipation of getting to meet baby boo on the monitor. Dr X came in, congratulated me and immediately did the scan. Within minutes it was over. I got to see the monitor for all of two seconds and I felt confused and annoyed that the biggest moment in my life so far (minus my wedding) was so unclimactic and unemotional. Was this normal? Am I being overly sensitive and crazy like I usually am? After the sonogram we spoke to the doctor briefly in his office about all the things I can and cannot do and we left. On our walk home I expressed my annoyance to Shai and he looked at me and said, “If you’re not comfortable with him, we will use someone else”. Everything is always so black and white to him- god bless because I was having a flat panic attack in my mind. This doctor came highly recommended to me and best of all- he takes insurance, which is a rare find in NYC. I felt bad not to use him but Shai made me realize that my comfort is number one and I needed to go with my gut. The search began and I hit the Internet like a mad woman.

SO many doctors to chose and so little time. I wanted everything done yesterday and I needed this figured out ASAP! I asked another friend I trusted if she could recommend someone and she said she loved hers. That Monday I was off to Dr. Joyce Kim’s office with Shai in tow. The second I sat down I felt at peace. She was bubbly, funny, easy to talk to and I could see myself lunching with her at 40 Carrots. We chatted for an hour and a half about my history, dos and don’t of pregnancy and all that other good stuff. Next came the exam and the second round at meeting baby boo. As soon as the image came to life she announces with joy- “now isn’t that just the CUTEST little yolk sac”. OMG I LOVE her I thought!! I felt like she was my mother and was showing off with pride the little tiny dot in my belly. She took tons of pictures of the baby and explained everything to us, including that I was about 5 weeks and baby boo was conceived in Turks and Caicos. This is how I expected it to be- exciting, emotional and thorough.

There was no looking back now- she was the one. While it isn’t the ideal situation because she doesn’t take insurance- Shai said it’s more important that I feel at ease because she would be spending the next 8 months with me and my vagina.

5 weeks Preg!

For those of you looking for a doctor now I recommend you really take the time to meet them in person, ask TONS of questions and don’t be afraid to go with your gut. Even if your best friend loves her doc, it doesn’t necessarily mean you will too. Good luck ladies…it’s just an important as finding a good husband!

The Pregger Diaries

For those of you don’t know me, my name is Tali, I’m 28, live in Manhattan, Jewish, a hypochondriac and I have no filter with a lot to say. While some may say this is a disease, I think it’s a blessing as very little ever stays in this head of mine. I will talk to a rock if it will listen and I share everything! Whether it be chatting with my friends or updating my Facebook status- I am an open book. No secrets here! I’m beyond excited to say that 12 weeks ago, my life had been changed forever and I want to share this journey with you.

Let me start by saying I am no pregnancy expert. This is my very first experience with having a living breathing heart-beating baby in my belly!! Before I tell you where I am now, I think you need to know a little about how I got here.

I have ALWAYS wanted a career as a mommy, I love children and I have never had the best work ethic…this has always been my calling. When I met my now husband 5 years ago, I knew I wanted to be his baby mama. We decided 1 year after our wedding I would go off the pill and “let it happen naturally”. I figured if I’m anything like my sister- I could simply think about pregnant and be knocked up the very next day. Not so easy. I went off the pill in July 2011 after a very romantic vacation with my honey to Italy. I had been on the pill since I was 14, at the time I’m 27 (you do the math). After 4 months of amenorrhoea, a term I learned after endless hours of googling, which means NO period, I started to freak out. I’m Jewish and bored- its what I do. I dragged my husband to the gyno who recommended I go see a specialist- THE specialist…great I thought- here goes a long draining year of shots, drugs and tears. After a quick sonogram I was told I have PCOS (polycystic ovaries syndrome) and I would “maybe get my period naturally once a year”.  I left with a prescription for Provera and chlomid…A combination of drugs that would not only bring on my period, but my doctor would then tell me when and how to have sex and poof- I would be pregnant. Sounds great right? WRONG

I left the doctor feeling down and frustrated. I’m only 27, I eat well, I exercise and NO ONE in my family had fertility problems. I began to think it over and realized I need to take the situation into my own hands. I shared this “issue” with my yoga teacher whom I ADORE and she recommended I see Katinka.With a name like that I had loved her already. She sounded so calm and Zen on the phone (the polar opposite of me) and I knew I needed to meet her. I dragged my ass on the subway to long island city the following week.

Well, it was love at first sight. She was kind, caring, not judgmental and so reassuring. We chatted for about an hour about my diet, lifestyle, stress level and sex life. She said I really needed to start eating organic hormone free eggs, meat and milk and try eating all organic fruit. She explained how all the hormones we ingest on a daily basis are really screwing up our bodies and this all made sense. I was also told to stop drinking bottled water because the plastic is literally melting into the water and is so unhealthy. She said to get a BPA free cup (they sell them everywhere) and put filtered water in it myself. She also said I need to chill out with the 5 mile runs and psycho spin classes and do things that relax my body (think long walks and yoga). Next I sat over a pot of special herbs she blended and I literally steamed my nish (aka vagina)- sounds weird but I have to say, it was warm and very relaxing and I rather enjoyed it. She then proceeded to do a Mayan massage, which focused on my belly and ovaries to get the blood flowing. She taught me how to do the massage myself and left with a prescription to do the massage every single day and come back in 1 month. This I could handle.  Fast forward three weeks- Were in Israel over December vacation for my cousins bar mitzvah and I wake up on December 24^th and there it was..MY PERIOD!! I was so excited- I jumped up and down with joy and my ever amazing and supportive husband joined in the festivities. My period lasted all of 3 days and I have never been happier to see some blood!

I went back to Katinka mid Jan and she was so happy with my progress- my body reacted so well and I was feeling great. That’s why the next two months really confused me- I was doing my morning belly massages, eating healthy, doing tons of yoga and nothing. Not even a spot of blood. My mood shifted and I felt defeated yet again. Shai (my husband) decided we needed to get away and on February 2nd we went to Turks and Caicos for a long weekend to forget about all the stress and just relax. It was heaven- we sat in the sun all day, had amazing meals and had lots of great sex (thanks to E.L James and her amazing book 50 Shades of Grey.HIGHLY recommended to all!) I was feeling alive, rejuvenated and happy again. We agreed that if I didn’t get another period by April 1, I would give in and take the drugs.  On March 3^rd we had my friend from colleges wedding in Florida and I was feeling really off all weekend. Super bloated, dizzy and heartburn like you cannot imagine. I was eating gaviscon like it was my job. We got home Sunday night and I was still feeling like hell. I figured I ate something bad and I would sleep it off. Monday morning came around and it was no better. Shai was home doing work and seeing me moping around the apartment suggested I take a pregnancy test “just to make sure”. I looked in the bathroom drawer and saw one lonely test and figured I would take it just to show him he was wrong…I pee on the stick and within a second a faded + sign pops up…HOLY S*!T. I screamed at the top of lungs for Shai to come see this- I wish I taped his face because it was priceless. We started yelling and jumping and crying. How could this be? I was told I was practically infertile!!! I immediately called my doctor but he was out till Friday- of course! So I called the fertility doctors office to get “emergency blood work” to confirm this. Ten minutes later we are zooming down Park Avenue to his office and before I know it I’m having blood drawn. I brought the test with me to show / ask the nurse what the faded + sign means…she thought I was nut job but I was too excited and proud of my test.  She said the results would be in tomorrow morning- so I did what any normal bratty Jewish girl would do- I started to cry. I need to know NOW!! She must have felt bad for me because she said “if I got a call tonight I know who to thank” Whoever said crying doesn't work is straight up wrong.

We sat by the phone for the next few hours and 6:15pm we got the call…I was PREGNANT!!!!!

Katinka's Info