From Flat to WTF?!?!

Gaining weight during pregnancy isn’t easy for anyone. I don’t care how Zen and carefree you are, getting bigger sucks. I cant imagine anyone who enjoys watching their ass get fat, ankles get swollen and boobs that now look like porn stars (ok maybe that part isn’t all that bad), but the reality is..It’s HARD!! Gaining weight has been an especially difficult part of this adventure for me. I have suffered with an eating disorder since I was 13 years old. What started as a diet to lose a few pounds eventually turned into full-blown anorexia by the time I was16. I watched everything that went in my mouth, which was very little and always made sure to burn it off with hours and hours at the gym. I did back to back spin classes before most people were awake. Going out for meals with friends- TORTURE!! I would rather have sat home and pulled every hair from my head than have to sit at a table and eat with others. Eating was most enjoyed in private, where I could do my weird rituals and eat my crazy calorie free meals alone. As the years went on, my eating disorder got worse and worse. Friends, family, teachers and strangers were all concerned for my health, but I didn’t care. I was skinny and in my mind, it was all worth the pain. I will never forget one night in November 2006 my dad came to me with tears in eyes. He said he couldn’t watch me like this anymore and If I didn’t go to rehab, he wasn’t able to be around me any longer. For once, I actually saw the pain and suffering my family was going through and I finally agreed to go. One week later I was off to Florida to the facility Milestones In Recovery for my in-patient treatment. What was supposed to be a 30-day stay, turned into 60 days in-patient followed by 30 days out patient. I can honestly say that my 90-day stint in rehab not only saved my life, but also changed me as a person forever. I went in as a sad tortured 89-pound girl and left as a healthy happy woman. I learned to embrace my body, eat mindfully and for the first time in years, enjoy life.

Which brings me to the now, I am by NO means am I saying I have some rockin little body but I’m not afraid to put on a teeny weeny bikini and work it on the beach. I work my ass off to try stay toned and tight and eat healthy 99.9% of the time (with the exception of Sunday funday where I take down Eddy’s slow churned ice cream like its nobody’s business). It’s all about moderation and staying on track.

Watching my growing belly has been both an exciting and terrifying time for me. There are days where I feel strong, beautiful and amazed that there is another human being inside me, and there are days where I cant look in the mirror because I literally don’t recognize my own body. In order to keep myself feeling like a normal person, I have made sure I keep up with my exercise and eating healthy. I make sure I hit the gym 5-6 days a week and get in a good workout without pushing myself too hard. I do yoga 2X a week with the amazing Lara Benusis (if you can get to any of her classes I highly recommend it, her website it www.larabenusis.com). I also do cardio 2-3X a week and light weights 2X a week. Working out has not only kept me feeling strong and empowered, but it keeps me sane as well.

Eating healthy is the other part of feeling good throughout your pregnancy. I make sure to eat tons of salads, fish, fruit, eggs and nuts in my daily regimen. I eat super healthy on Monday-Saturday but allow myself a “cheat day” on Sundays. Between Keeping Up With the Kardashians and eating dessert, Sundays are hands down my favorite day of the week! Because I am such an extremist I know that if I don’t give myself this day to splurge, the second I eat something bad I’ll feel guilty all day and think the whole week is a wash and not eat properly.  Having my cheat day keeps me on track all week and gives me a day to eat guilt free.  While I realize sitting on our asses eating donuts and bagels sounds like a lot more fun, we all know we wont feel good about ourselves. So to all my preggies out there…get up off the couch, put on your Lulu’s and go work up a sweat!

Me in 2006 pre rehab

Me in 2012 preg